Mars Bastards! (from mars)

Mars Bastards! (from mars) : The Deadly and Stupid Pre-Apocalyptic Role Playing Game of Habitual Self-Sabotage and Unrelenting Bastardry

Long before mars was populated by no-one, it was populated entirely by: Bastards 

Welcome to the last days of Mars. A mindless underclass of biomechanical drones toil at grinding industry and populate thrumming hives. They know nothing, understand less, and exist only to serve. The rest of Mars likes to insult and berate these drones anyway, because it makes them feel better. 

Through the drone’s breathless toil, all scarcity is eliminated. Without need to work or worry, nobles swan around lavish parties where exotic alien pets strain against their shackles, lavish feasts last for days, and torture is just one more drug to experience. Those not born into privilege amuse themselves in bacchanalian clubs and fighting pits. Meanwhile, under the crust of the planet, something truly terrible gestates. But no-one cares. Everyone here has it easy. Everyone, that is, except you.

You are a Mars Bastard! (From Mars) - the dregs of society, a refugee or expat who arrived on the planet post-scarcity, and has no right to the benefits others enjoy. Instead, you are forced to scratch out a meagre existence through scavenging, wet work, security gigs, and good old fashioned space crime. Everyone here wants something or someone killed, kidnapped, publicly embarrassed, rescued, tortured, stolen, hidden, blown-up, found, or lost so well no-one will ever find it again. For these people, a life without want just means more time to be petty, vindictive, paranoid, grasping, and cruel. And you? You just want to be paid an honest wage for dishonest work. 

Were the bastards of Mars the cause of their own collapse, or did knowing the collapse was coming cause the population of Mars to start acting like complete bastards? The stolid facts of it all are long flushed down the piss-stained maw of history, but maybe you can salvage some semblance of truth from the proverbial wreckage, if you’re not too busy stealing everyone’s shit. 

Welcome to Mars. It’s an incredibly stupid place and you’re going to die horribly somewhere in its orbit. But at least you won’t die with empty pockets. 

* 28 pages of utter nonsense

* 4 utterly shite character classes and 1 funny one written by Brendan Caldwell (https://brendycaldwell.com) (Brendan had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this trash)

* A mere 4 pages of basic rules - with plenty more optional systems for making the game deadlier, stupider, or needlessly complex 

* Tables including but not limited to: Loot, MAIM, DIE INSIDE, Noticeable Features, BASTARD BACKSTORIES, OH FUCK! NOT AGAIN, Items, Space Magic, Weapons

* The BAST-iary

* Several AI generated pictures of meat